everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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