brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
