Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
