Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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