sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
