quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
