fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
