btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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