Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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