There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
