can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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