he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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