69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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