I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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