Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
