girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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