My friends, they love my intelligence
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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