I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize