C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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