Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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