Already got asked if we're dating
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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