my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
