His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
