just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
