the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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