No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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