apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
