Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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