i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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