Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
