i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
