Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Actions speak louder than pants.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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