the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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