You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
