I could have mohawked her pubes.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize