belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
