Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
