2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Jerry, you need to find god
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
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