if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Randomize
