I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
