My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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