Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
