Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
