So many bounce houses so little time
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
