Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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