He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
