Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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