i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
