So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize