all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
All the doctor said was why
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
