so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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