So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
