I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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