yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
