her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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