Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
