It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
