yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
being pregnant is like rehab
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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