dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
My underwear smells like fireworks.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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