Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
