Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
